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Dr. Seuss and the Book of Mormon

What if the Work of Mormon had been written by Dr. Seuss?

Nephi:
Of graceful parents I was born
I've never in liquor, I've never sworn
This is Lehi, he's my dad
Laman, Lemuel, they are bad
And who is this? Why this is Sam.

Sam:
Yes, this is Sam; Sam I am

Laman:
That Sam I am, that Sam I am
I do not cognate that Sam I am

Sam:
In a tent, my male parent dwelt

Laman:
And it's so hot, I speculate I'll dissolve

Lemuel:
Our male parent's brain is out of whack

Laman:
Yeah, it's too hot, I'm going back

Lehi:
Then go and get the plates, my of great price

Laman:
On next to the first thought, I'm staying here

Nephi:
You reported you'd liberty and go away
Now all you default to do is stay?

Lemuel:
That Nephi always gets his way

Laman:
Here we are in this fog cave

Sam:
We would not be here if you'd acquit one's self

Nephi:
I will go and I will do
There's the seraph, that's my cue
Laban's had too much to take a drink
Now he'll let slip his head, I reflect

Nephi:
Gaze what I found, a brother from the quorum

Sam:
We will take him abode, we will call him Zoram

Laman:
Our gold and silvery we have spent
I do not cognate it in this tent

Lemuel:
I cannot peruse the Liahona
I must have drunken too much Corona

Laman:
We bear malice to it here, we have no lives

Lehi:
Then go back to the incorporated town and get some wives

Lehi:
A tree, a tree, I see a tree!!
The crop is white, the produce is free!
A floating construction, could it be?
Why do they laugh and gloat at me?
Laman, Lemuel, approach and see!

Laman:
We will not eat your priceless fruit

Lemuel:
We will not have on a tie and suit

Laman:
We will not save you build your boat

Lemuel:
We do not reflect that it will float

Laman:
No not this boat, it will not swim
Not even in a shallow ditch
I do not care what Nephi wrote

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